Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Sporting Green

Today started out with a heated debate with my two year old whippersnapper over the color green. He stated, in no uncertain terms, that he likes green, and so does his daddy. I told him that I like green, too.

He said, “No. You don’t like green. You like orange.”

I suggested that in fact I did not like orange, I like green. An argument ensued with little variation from the accusation and defense. I pointed out that Hibs are green. I even took him round to the side of my car where a Hibs crest sticker is affixed on the side window.

“What is this?” I asked him.

“Hibs,” he said, because he’s a Very Smart Boy.

“Right. And Hibs are green. Please do not insult me by suggesting I do not like green.”

He considered this in silence as I packed him into his car seat. Finally, he said, “I like green. My daddy likes green.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“And you like orange.”

At this point I shut the car door.

But the day got better. First off, I’m wearing my new cute Gap sweater. I have eschewed Gap for many years because Gap is overpriced and makes their clothes for emaciated teenagers, not me. However, I recently noticed that both Gap and Old Navy (which are both owned, along with Banana Republic, by Gap Inc), have made their clothes sizes bigger. It used to be that the Medium size was a small, and Small was actually Minuscule 18 Year Old. Large was the best bet, and if you required XL, then you were ass out because nothing would fit you. (Old Navy really pissed me off when I was preggers because they made maternity clothes without increasing the arse size. Hello! Our arses get bigger when we’re preggers! Fact!)

Anyway, now their M sizes are actually Ls so when you buy S or M, it’s quite comfortable. On one hand I take a hard line of offense at this enlarging of the sizes, but on the other, it makes me feel thinner when I buy S and it’s roomy.
Right, so, I’m wearing my awesome new Gap sweater, with a frilly collar—and I look fashionable—yes! Me! I know! And I’m also wearing fashionable jeans and cute clogs! It’s been years since I attempted such coordination. So I went to the bathroom in my office building and a very beautiful girl was in there as I was coming in and she said, “Your sweater is so cute!” Well! thought I. That’s very nice to hear! Mind you it would have been sublime to hear “And you obviously like green” too from her (because obviously I do). I may have lost the fight this morning with the whippersnapper, but I haven’t lost the war. It’s going to be a long one.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.