Thursday, March 4, 2010

5 Must-have Tinterweb Relationships

Have you ever heard that women who live in the same house or work together often have synchronized menstrual cycles? No? Well, it does happen. There seems to be a similar thing happening on the tinterweb, only it's synchronized thinking. That's what I'm going to call it, anyway, instead of, say, "stealing ideas."

Often, Carrie and Roni and I post abut similar ideas. Sometimes they post before I do. Or their posts poke my brain into motion and I start thinking about a topic. Anyway, I had a good chunk of the below written before Carrie got all blazey and came out with a post yesterday listing her nemesis, fiance, and our torrid affair. And I thought, yeah, cause that's what the tinterweb is all about, if you're doing it right.

So for your Thursday 5, I'm listing 5 Must-have Tinterweb Relationships, usually within the writing and publishing community:

1. BFFs.
My BFFs don't know that we're BFFs (that seems to be the key to our good relationship, too). Marian Keyes is my BFF, because she's lovely, and we both have birthdays in September and I feel that we would get each other really nice gifts. Le Rejectionist is one, and she reads this blog every day because she is such a close friend (although she doesn't know she reads it). INTERN, who also doesn't know it, but we're like THAT. Author Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich is one, and if Gordon Ramsay called me and begged me to be his BFF, then I would say yes, although he'd have to do the calling (and he would also need to admit that he is not a rangers supporter). Yesterday I said Elana Johnson was one too.

2. Torrid Affairs.
Carrie has that position, only because she refused to be engaged to me, since she's already engaged to le Rejectionist.

4. Nemesis (or nemesii?).
I am delighted to announce my official nemesis, match made by Carrie yesterday: Simon C. Larter. We are currently stalking each other to get a handle on the ways in we will apply destruction. Simon is also Scottish and for those of you who have played close attention, you'll know that there's a bit of a, look, it's just an odd coincidence isn't it. I believe he is on the east coast, so I already have the upper hand in that I can throw poison darts while he is sleeping since I'm 3 hours behind, but then again, he could probably launch a rocket at me in the morning when I'm still asleep. Hmmm.

3. Secret husbands who are irrevocably in love with me.
And when I say in love, I mean, they LOVE me to distraction and are super affectionate and loving and I am the only woman for them, ever. I have two. Here they are and, perhaps not uncoincidentally, they are the inspiration for my two main male characters in my current story:

The first is dark, and tall, and known for his good looks and ways with the ladies. Because aren't all super hot dark tall guys good with the ladies? You know they are. Add in some charm and jokey jokes and your girl is all aquiver. So when I saw this unbelievable person behind the counter at the Starbucks near my work, I knew. That was him. He is one of those stunningly good-looking people, and probably a lot of things comes easy for him (although, yes, I realize the paradoxical truth of him working at Starbucks rather than being, say, on a billboard in his Calvin Kleins, as he should be). He's just this perfect, well-formed, fit guy and you instantly want to eat him instead of drink coffee. Contrary to what you might think based on my slavering, I do not visit the Starbucks frequently in order to see him. Because you see, he is a huge arsehat and is so consistently rude that I was instantly put off . A hot guy, rude? Such a waste. A waste! Also, I am lazy and cheap, and prefer to bring my own coffee to work.

The second gentleman, whom I love even more than the super hot dark smouldery Starbucks guy, serves as the inspiration for my main male character. He is very, very good looking with brown/reddish coloring, and just a very manly face and a delicious smile. I want to eat him, too. He seems so nice and so funny and so damn COOL that you just want to melt into a puddle at his feet and ingest his coolness because there's nothing else that's going to be better. You know that his coolness and his yummy looks would make for an excellent and most loving and perfect mate. In my story, he's super sweet -- with gentle failings, of course. Now, I can't say who he really is because then you'll know and I could look like an idiot (Carrie knows all about that, don't you girl?) but I really, really wish I could put a picture here. Just trust me, he's so delicious.

5. Just really good author friends.
If you're lucky like me, you have lots, all you regular commenters whom I love so much. You rabblerousers, you.


Lee Ee Leen said...

thanks for visiting
Ihave the regular visitors too!

CKHB said...

Yep. I postponed a recent post on failure because there were suddenly DOZENS of really good internet posts on the same subject the morning I decided to write about it. Hive thinking indeed! (Normally I go ahead and post anyway, but in that case I decided to read all the other materials and come back with a higher lever of analysis later...)

Don't be hurt that I didn't accept your marriage proposal... I just think it's more fun to give everyone their own special category. I mean, that whole "second wife" thing would get really dreary after a while, but a TORRID AFFAIR, now that kind of passion lives forever!

And yes, we're all hoping that I don't simply fling myself idiotically at John Irving if and when we finally meet...

Travener said...

1. Nemeses.

2. I thought I was one of your secret husbands. You are one of my (now-not-so-) secret lovers, after all.

Sierra Godfrey said...

Ah, Travener, that's so sweet. Add Secret Lovers to the list, then. As Carrie says, having a special category is the best part. I have openings for Illicit Boyfriends as well.

Carrie, I'm not upset about the marriage. I wouldn't have you any other way than a torrid affair!

Anonymous said...

Well, to be honest, I think we got batches of similar posts not because we all think alike, but because there are only so many things for writers to talk about.

Er... Let's try that again:

We get batches of similar posts not because we all think alike, but because there are so many things for writers to talk about but there are also soooo many more writers talking about them--all at the same time.

Wait... Can I get a third draft? No? Oh well.

Also, I cracked up when you mentioned your BFFs, because I follow Carrie, INTERN and Le Rejectionist as well. I suppose that means I need to look into your other BFF, as well, since our other tastes seem to fit so well. ;)

Simon C. Larter said...


I arrive in your comment section with an evil laugh, O nemesis mine. The time zones will not save you. I do not sleep, I subsist on scotch and the occasional potato, and I have the resources of nations at my beck and call. I might also be slightly megalomaniacal, and perhaps unhinged a tiny bit, but let's not talk about that here.

I now go to plot your destruction. Exit, stage right with a dastardly flourish of my cape

Sierra said...

GAH! The rake arrives! Deflector shields up!

Roni @ FictionGroupie said...

lol, this is too funny. And really, I've just hacked your computer and am stealing all your topics. ;)

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