You learn all sorts of things on Twitter. Sometimes if you're there at just the right time, you'll catch amazing things like pictures of author Tawna Fenske's toes. I was blown away by how unbelievably monkey-like her toes were, and then it turned out that she, like me, has an impressive range of simian foot capabilities.
We call them monkey toes.
It turns out we can both do an amazing range of activities with our toes. Observe just a sampling of my primate abilities:
1. Change the television channel.
Sometimes when I'm lounging on the couch, it's just too much effort to get up and reach for the remote control. So I let my toes do the work. There is a sort of beauty in this laziness; remote controls were invented so you don't have to get up off the couch to begin with, and this takes it just that extra step further. (Tip: don't use your big toe or you'll skip more channels than you wanted.)
2. Groom my cats.
Look, it's a lot of effort to bend down and pet those useless beasts! Using my toes, which are just as good, is pleasurable for me (free foot massage) AND the cat (they get petted). Win-win. (That is the side table getting petted.)
3. Flip light switches.
Feeling a little crusty sometimes? Yeah, I do. So what better than to use my amazing monkey toes to turn on and off lights AND get some high-kick exercise at the same time? It needn't be a painful contortion, no. Just a simple lift and you have illumination. Another kick and you have darkness. (Plus you'll be energy efficient. Yes, monkey toes are good for the environment!)
4. Cook espresso-rubbed pork tenderloin.
Oh yes, yes, yes, it is a gourmet delight. Sometimes, when I'm really into a story, I can't afford to waste my arms by cooking. So in step (get it, ha ha!) my baboon tootsies and voila! A delicious meal cooked. (I have found that it's best to refrain from telling Mr. Sierra that my toes did the preparation.)
5. Use chopsticks.
Forget waxing on and waxing off, I'm a master at chopstick usage with my toes.
Tawna challenged me to Photoshop a photo using my toes. Well! That wasn't difficult at all! Although the mouse and keyboard needed a bit of a wipe-down afterward. Here it is:
I challenged Tawna to recreate the works of Shakespeare with her unbelievable monkey toes. It should only take her, say, a million years. Since we likely don't have that kind of time here, I asked her to peel a banana with her toes instead, and present photographic evidence. You should swing (get it, ha ha!) on over to see her gibbon-like attempts at her blog. You'll also find a similar list of 5 totally amazing things she can do with her monkey toes.