Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Spectacular Character Contest!

I never thought I'd do a contest on the blog. However, last weekend in the shower I was thinking about Spain in the World Cup. NO, pervo, I wasn't think of them THAT way. I was thinking about them because EA Sports did a Windows theme for the World Cup that you can download for Windows 7, and they did a superb job of recreating the likeness of the characters, including Carles Puyol, the Spanish defender who headed the ball into the net against Germany and got Spain to the finals. Puyol is a bit of an odd looking guy**, and that got me thinking.

If you were to describe Puyol in words, how would you do it?

This brings me to the contest. I would LOVE to read your descriptions of this guy. To make it fun, I'm awarding the winner a $20 Amazon certificate.

But wait, there's more.

If we can get 30 or more unique contest entries of Puyol descriptions, I'll up the certificate to $25, which, as we all know, means free shipping. And for those of us outwith New York, no sales tax. (Of course you must pay the taxes in your federal tax return, but if you are wise you will put the tax you would have paid into a savings account, earn a little interest, and then pay Uncle Sam at tax time--and keeping the interest earned!! This contest will MAKE YOU MONEY!)

If the winner despises Amazon and Amazon's practices of trying to corner the ebook market and forcing you to use their Kindle, and you're all "But what about my Sony eReader/Nook/other?" then you may have an alternate book store certificate.

So here are the rules:

1. Post your description of how Puyol looks in the comments. The way you do this-- be it in a scene, or from the perspective of another character, or whatever POV--is up to you. The goal here is to describe him as you would in a story, with words. You can be subtle or direct, you can be descriptive or just sketch him, but we want to get a sense of what he looks like.

2. You have until midnight on August 8 to do this. Repeat entries are fine.

3. I will judge the entries and then post finalists on August 9. Winners will be announced shortly after.

4. If you tweet or blog about the contest and we get at least 30 entries, I'll up the certificate to $25.

That's it!

Recommended, but not required:
Learn from the way people describe Puyol. Learn from the words or nuances. I hope this will be a great workshop in describing people. I really look forward to learning some character description tricks from you all.

You can get as much a sense of Puyol as you want for this contest-- you needn't rely on the pictures above only. Watch the World Cup final :) , or type his name in You Tube. Also do a Google images search--lots comes up.

Good luck and I can't wait to read your entries!

**I feel it necessary to remind you all that I am not in love with soccer players nor do I enjoy the game because I find players attractive, and that if I were a guy, you would not even question that. In fact, this post inspired a discussion with my writer friend Mike Chen about who is uglier: Puyol or Mike Ricci of hockey fame (Mike loves hockey). Mike wins. Ricci is uglier. However, I one-upped him with recent pictures of Mickey Rourke, whose nose hairs and scabbed lips are super klassy.


Linda G. said...

Okay, I LOVE the idea of this contest. But it's going to take me a while to come up with some clever descriptors. I don't suppose "homely-hawt" will cut it. ;)

Elizabeth Ryann said...

I am leaning more towards "raw-boned." No worries, I still plan on winning.

Roni @ FictionGroupie said...

The first pic he kind of looks like a horse who got a perm.

You don't have to count that as my descriptive entry, but that's the best I can come up with at T minus 18 hours before I leave for RWA Nationals. :)

Julie Dao said...

To me he looks like a sweaty lion on a serengeti plain, flicking his mane at the other males and going "Yeah. Who's manly? ME. That's who."

Mike Chen said...

You know, the more I look at him, the more I think he looks like Nicolas Cage after being exposed to radiation for a few days.

I will plug the contest on my blog...RIGHT NOW!

Elizabeth Ryann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth Ryann said...

Carles stared into the mirror, brooding.

"What's wrong?" Linda asked, barely glancing up from dictionary.com, where she was using the thesaurus to look up various alternates to the word "badass."

"Sierra told me that I was ugly." He turned to her, flexing his massive pecs. "She puts me in the same category as Mike Ricci's ugly vampire teeth and Mickey Rourke's nose hair and mouth diseases. Am I not a pinnacle of manhood? Is my neck not wider than my head? Does my mane of curls not gleam with my sweat after I 'kick some German ass,' to use the colloquialism?" His blunt fingers gestured towards his raw-boned face, so that Linda could be sure about exactly which head he described.

She refrained from commenting on the split ends and warmly agreed, "Indeed. You are very homely-hawt."

"What is this 'homely'? Is this a thing American women desire? Does it mean to have a large man who fills their home?"

"Uh...yeah. We'll go with that," says Linda.

Carles sighed. "But my Sierra, mi amor, I think she disdains my looks, though I am very virile and a futbol MVP."

"Don't worry," Linda soothed, "I'm sure she's just jalous."

Linda G. said...

ROF,L! I may have to concede to Elizabeth right now. (May. But it's still early, so there is a slight chance I can still come up with something competitive later.)

Lt. Cccyxx said...

LOL @ Mike. I will be back with my entry!

Sierra Godfrey said...

HA HA HA!!! I am LOVING these!

Elizabeth Ryann said...

I have to say, this is by far my favorite thing that I wrote yesterday.

Linda G. said...

Puyol was a man's man, a man other men's women wanted, and other men wanted to be, because they knew, if they were, their women would want them more.

He wasn't pretty, but he wasn't ugly either, except maybe that homely-hawt kind of ugly that makes women tingle with lust, and men tingle, too, though not with lust (okay, maybe a little), but with envy because they can't make their women tingle the way Puyol can.

His hair was a curly mess that looked as if a hundred female fingers had recently been tangled in it, not all at the same time, but in rapid succession, one female after another, so rapidly, in fact, that he may not have noticed if one of those tingling men had slipped in with the crowd.

With full, pouty lips and a mouth that never closed--really, who would want THAT mouth to close?--he beckoned silently, sexily, to all who could see him. Could he speak? Who knew? Who cared? He had better things to do with that mouth.


Elizabeth Ryann said...

Hahaha! Oh, my gosh, Linda, we have this in the bag.

Yes, other people, that was a DIRECT CHALLENGE.

DL Hammons said...

The bell above the door tinkled and I instinctively turned to greet the newcomer.

The man closed the door behind him and stood to take in his new surroundings. He was an amazing specimen. Standing over six foot tall with a barrel chest, a trunk of a neck and gloden locks brushing against his broad shoulders making me think of a cross between Thor...and a WWF wrestler. He had a fighters nose and a demeanor to match. The lights were on but nobody was home.

Meghan Ward said...

How can I compete with these entries? I think "horse with a perm" is my favorite. And I've never even heard of the guy (no, didn't watch any of the World Cup either).

Lt. Cccyxx said...

“I shall create an army of unstoppable warriors to conquer the Earth and enslave all of mankind,” the mad scientist cackled maniacally. “I know that sounds horribly trite and clich├ęd, but trust me, my plan is like nothing before imagined.

“First, you see, I will use as my prototype the lead singer from Men Without Hats.


“Yes, yes, that’s good. `Pop Goes The World’ indeed. But something’s missing. He needs more aggression. A bit more bulk. Perhaps more blind hatred. I will add in a dose of Mel Gibson.


“Hmm, definitely on the right track. But still needs some more crazy, especially in the eyes. A pinch of Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden should do it.”


“And to top it all off, I shall give him the mane of a lion. The Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz, that is.


“Now, if my experiment succeeds, this unstoppable killer will begin cloning himself and soon the world will be at my feet. If it fails, well, I’m not quite sure…the fucker will probably turn into a soccer player from Spain or something.”

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