Monday, August 9, 2010

Contest Winner and Other News

Thanks to everyone who entered my Spectacular Character Contest, in which I asked you how you would describe one of Spain's football players, Carles Puyol. The responses were hilarious. Although we did not quite get to the 30 unique entries, the effort was excellent and so the prize will be a $25 Amazon gift certificate anyway.

Also hilarious was the smack talk that Elizabeth Ryann and Linda Grimes engaged in on the blog and on Twitter. You must follow and read these ladies, because they are so funny.

So, how did people describe poor Puyol? Well, I'm sorry to say, most of us felt he was on the simian side with a dash of machismo. I'm sure Mr. Puyol is a very nice guy. Certainly he is a hardworking, dedicated, and passionate football player and I like to see that level of commitment in anyone.

That being said, there was really a clear winner in the contest.

Swooping in at the last hour, saving his hand to the last to best Linda and Elizabeth, was Lt. Cccyxx with his description, which has poor Puyol looking like a cross between three, um, well, have a look for yourself:

“I shall create an army of unstoppable warriors to conquer the Earth and enslave all of mankind,” the mad scientist cackled maniacally. “I know that sounds horribly trite and clich├ęd, but trust me, my plan is like nothing before imagined.

“First, you see, I will use as my prototype the lead singer from Men Without Hats.

“Yes, yes, that’s good. `Pop Goes The World’ indeed. But something’s missing. He needs more aggression. A bit more bulk. Perhaps more blind hatred. I will add in a dose of Mel Gibson.

“Hmm, definitely on the right track. But still needs some more crazy, especially in the eyes. A pinch of Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden should do it.”

“And to top it all off, I shall give him the mane of a lion. The Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz, that is.

“Now, if my experiment succeeds, this unstoppable killer will begin cloning himself and soon the world will be at my feet. If it fails, well, I’m not quite sure…the fucker will probably turn into a soccer player from Spain or something.”

Well done, Lt.!! And well played, sir! That took some thought, and some serious stomach to look at that HEINOUS BEYOND BELIEF photo of Chest Hair Dickinson. And you turn out to be right, Puyol is a cross between all those guys. Congratulations! I shall email you regarding your prize.

Now for some other news. Tomorrow I have a very special treat for you -- an interview with literary agent Weronika Janczuk! You will love. LOVE.


Linda G. said...

Curses! Foiled by a ringer!

Oh, well. C'est la vie. I have to admit the winning description was spot on. Congrats, Lt. Cccyxx! :)

Elizabeth Ryann said...

Hahaha, not only did I lose, but Linda was here first, AND used my favorite trite "Curses! Foiled again" thing. What a terrible day. :)

Congrats, Lt. Cccyxx!

Lt. Cccyxx said...

Nice! Bruce Dickinson helps me win another one. :P

Can't wait to see your interview tomorrow, Sierra.

Sierra Godfrey said...

Bruce Dickinson helped you win ANOTHER one? Ew! Ew!

Thanks all three of you -- mwah!

Roni @ FictionGroupie said...

That is definitely a winner, lol.

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