Wednesday, July 20, 2011

What Passes for Writer Humor

July 1, 2011
To: Sierra
From: "Money Gram"

Subject: We just sent you US$9000.00

Dear Beneficiary

Be informed that your part-payment of (US$300,000.00) from International Monetary Fund Unit (IMF) has been approved to transfer via our department of Money Gram, Meanwhile your urgent respond is highly needed with the re-confirmation of your details where and how to receive your funds in our office such as:
Your Name:.....
Country:......
State and
City.......
Address..........
Telephone Number............
Age...........
Sex.........
Occupation.........

Also the payment of US$9000.00 has already been made through Money Gram for you to pick it up, but due to the instruction we received from International Monetary Fund Unit (IMF), You are required to pay sum of(US$210.00) to activate your payment files and also to ensure you are the right person to receive the fund. Upon reception of the Activation fee, you can pick up the first transfer of US$9000.00

REFF :# 738-018-43
Senders Name: Anthony Chukwuemeka
Text Question:Honest
Answer: Trust

Call all or email me once you picked up this $9,000 USD today.

You can easily get back to us via email or telephone# for more details while the amount you will be confirming daily is (US$9000.00) starting from the day we receive the Activation fee. You are to use the name below to send the Activation Fee via Money Gram and send payment details to
this E-mail: moneygram1978@hotmail.com

RECEIVER NAME.......Igharo Deco
COUNTRY......................VICTORIA, ISLAND, LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION..........GOOD
ANSWER.................GOD
SENDER NAME..............
REFF NUMBER.............

We are looking forward to hearing from you.

Thank you.
Rev.Collins Moore
Tel: +234-80-7434-8850
Email: moneygram1978@hotmail.com
Manager Money Gram
Nigeria



July 1, 2011
To: "Money Gram"
From: Sierra

Subject: Re: We just sent you US$9000.00


Dear. Reverend Collins,

I was intrigued by your premise and would like to read more. Please send the first 50 pages pasted into the body of the e-mail (no attachments, please), and a three-page synopsis.

Best,
Sierra


July 7, 2011
To: "Money Gram"
From: Sierra

Subject: Re: Re: We just sent you US$9000.00

Dear. Reverend Collins,

I eagerly await your submission. Please send pages!

-Sierra


July 7, 2011
To: Sierra
From:
"Money Gram"

Subject: Attention: (Sierra)

Attention: (Sierra)

Please be informed that the funds are coming directly from the International Money Funds branch in west Africa. It is a Grand Donation from the I.M.F to support individuals financially due to the global and financial economic meltdown. Your email address was selected globally as one of the beneficiaries this year and we are only to pay beneficiaries once they meet their financial obligations. Because you did not pick up the funds on time we decided to placed hold on it until you were notified about the payment sent to you.
In regards to your mail that was received in this office and was noted, We recieved the mail you sent to us for the transfer our fund valued at USD$ 300,000.00.

instalmental daily transfer of USD$9,000.00 per day. Note that we will be transfering the fund to you $9,000.00 per day as the Money Gram protocol restricts us from making transfer of fund more than USD $9000 per day from Africa. You will not be able to pick this payment up because it has been put on hold by The payment supervisor. In accordance to the new rules and regulations of all the Money Gram world-wide, You are required to pay sum of(US$200.00) to activate your payment files and also to ensure you are the right person to receive the fund. Only Upon reception of the Activation fee, you can be able to pick up the first transfer of US$9000.00. Bear it in mind that the fee is not negotiable and we can not release the transfer to you today if you did not send the required fee. Be informed that the fee cover for the transfer of all your fund and not just this first transfer meaning that you will not be required to pay any fee again for the rest of the transfer.

You are advised to go to the nearest Money Gram Transfer agent around you and send the fee of $205Usd immediately because the fee is the only delay for your fund to be released as the fund is presently on our system. Do send me your phone number in your next mail for oral directions.

Below is the information you will use to send us the fee of $205 USD Via Money Gram to our account officer Igharo Deco.

RECEIVER NAME.......Igharo Deco

COUNTRY......................NIGERIA

ADDRESS: VICTORIA, ISLAND LAGOS
TEXT QUESTION..........GOOD
ANSWER.................GOD
SENDER NAME..............
REFERENCE.............

Once you send the money, send the payment information immediately for easy pick-up and your transfer shall be released in two hours after confirmation of the payment. We await to recieve the payment information. BE ADVISED ACCORDINGLY.
Note : Incorrect payment information can lead to penalties, confiscation or delay of your Funds.


Rev. Collins Moore.
Phone Number: Tel: +234-8074-34-8850


7/8/11
To: "Money Gram"

From: Sierra

Subject: Re: Attention: (Sierra)


Dear Rev. Moore,

Thank you for the opportunity to sample your work. I'm afraid I wasn't enthusiastic enough to ask for more. I might add that what you sent was essentially the same material as the first time, but centered, bolded, and with different font color. You may want to consult a book on plot--and run spell check.

Good luck in your search for representation.

Sierra

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